A guide for Australians on why germans are not unfriendly — they just show it differently.
## 27. Why Germans Are Not Unfriendly — They Just Show It Differently One of the most common complaints from Australians in Germany is that Germans seem cold, unfriendly, or unwelcoming. With time and cultural context, this perception almost always changes. Here is why. ### The Greeting Contract In Australia, smiling at strangers on the street is normal. Chatting casually with someone in a queue is unremarkable. A service worker asking "How are you going?" even without expecting a genuine answer is standard. In Germany, none of these are expected. In fact, smiling at a complete stranger on the street can seem odd. Not saying *Guten Morgen* when you walk into a shop will be noticed. The German social contract involves specific, formal greetings when entering a social space — but does not involve the ambient cheerfulness that Australians interpret as friendliness. This is not coldness. It is a different social protocol. Germans are warm with people they know, but the transition from stranger to acquaintance requires specific social steps — an introduction, shared experience, time. ### The Reserve Has a Name: *Distanzkultur* German social culture is sometimes described as *Distanzkultur* — a culture that values personal space, privacy, and clearly defined social spheres. People have their public life (professional, transactional) and their private life (friends, family) and the two spheres are not casually mixed. In Australia, the distinction is blurrier. A colleague becomes a mate. A service interaction becomes a small conversation. In Germany, a colleague is a colleague until deliberate steps are taken to shift the relationship. The payoff: once Germans accept you into their private sphere, the friendship tends to be deep, loyal, and honest in a way that casual Australian friendships sometimes are not. ### Directness Is Not Aggression When a German tells you honestly that your idea is not good, that your German has a mistake, or that they do not like something, they are not being aggressive or unkind. They are treating you as an adult who can handle honest information and prefers it to politeness that obscures reality. Australians, for all their casual directness on some topics, often soften criticism significantly — "that's interesting" meaning "that's wrong," "we might think about it" meaning "no chance." Germans do not do this. They say what they mean. This initially registers as harsh. With time, it registers as respect. ### Small Gestures That Break Through The Germans-are-unfriendly impression fades when you take specific approaches: **Initiate genuine greetings.** *Guten Morgen* in the lift, *Guten Tag* when entering a shop, *Entschuldigung* before asking anything. These are the entry tokens to social interaction in Germany. Using them correctly signals awareness and respect. **Engage on serious topics.** Germans tend to go deeper in conversation faster than Australians — current events, history, philosophy, genuine opinions. The surface-level "how's the weather" conversation is less satisfying to a German than a genuine exchange of views. **Give it time.** Germans are worth the patience. The colleague who seemed uninterested in your existence for two months may invite you to their home for dinner in month three and treat you like a lifelong friend.Found this useful? Share it with other Australians learning German 🇦🇺
AD
AussieDeutsch
B1 German / Beginner Swiss German
An Australian who learned German to B1 level without living in Germany — navigating the same lack of local resources that most Australian learners face. Currently learning Swiss German. This site is the resource I wished had existed when I started.
Get new German learning guides in your inbox
No spam. New articles for Australian German learners only.